andrea stefani

© PHOTO BY unsplash

"Behind a great man, there is always a great woman". Strange. For a long time, this sentence didn't sound terrible to me, or indeed, I did not give it weight at all. The environment in which we grow up affects our personality inevitably, and I easily adopted my point of view as a child raised in a family full of women. Only when we grow up, we learn to appreciate more the good events of life (when we are child, we accept them and enjoy the present without afflictions). Therefore, over the years, I have never focused too much on this aspect, telling myself that a person's skills, aptitude, or goodness grow with the authenticity of the relationships he/she cultivates. 

In my singular definition of success, there was (and persists) a condition of reciprocity, a set of relationships based on attention for each other and mutual good. We can elevate our humanity and knowing how to orient ourselves in this liquid society through others' listening. I still can't imagine a life without genuine relationships. If we approach each other with awareness and sincerity, we can grow in authenticity and fullness. Therefore, for a long time, I naively read so that sentence: behind (to sustain the life of) a man there is (there must be) a woman (a mother, a grandmother, an aunt, a friend, a wife, a partner, a daughter, etc.). Obviously, in the fragility of this reasoning, the man and the woman were each other's mirror.

The adjective "great" has rather never belonged to me. What does it mean? Here the definition of "great" marks a limit, the (pre-)judgement on a person's success. The tendency to interpret reality according to our vision of right/wrong, winning/losing, good/bad. The right to judge the lives of other human beings and determine the success or failure of a person. Of course, how superficial I was then, and perhaps still today, thinking about my limits in this interpretation. A man raised in a male-dominated society where substantial gender disparities are still huge.
Many phenomena highlight a considerable gap. Let's focus on employment indicators.

Today we live in the period in which the employment rate (20-64 years) is the highest in Italian (53.8% women vs 73.4% of men) and European (67.3% women vs 79% men) history. However, there are still evident the differences in the distribution, as well as significant territorial differences.There is a considerable difference between the employment rates of men and women aged 20 to 64 (Gender employment GAP) in 2019 (19.6% in IT and 11.7% in the EU). The gap is also present by observing the Employment rates of recent graduates wherein 2019 in Italy it was 55.8% for women vs 61.7%, while in Europe 78.6% vs 83.2%. If we look at the pay gap, men are paid more for the same job (in 2017 equal to 5% in Italy and 14.8% in the EU).

Then there is the question of time. By adding up paid and unpaid jobs, we realise that women have much less free time than men, unlike in other countries where the parties are equally divided.

Furthermore, in Italy and Europe, there is a lot of work done by women that it is not recognised at all. Let's talk, for example, about the activities that concern the care of people. The "Inactivity due to caring responsibilities" indicator considers 'looking after children or incapacitated adults' and 'other family or personal responsibilities' as the main reason for inactivity. Data shows 39.4% of women in 2019 (vs 4% of men) and 32.2% of women in the EU (vs 4.5% of men). These data show that there is still a long way to go towards a more inclusive and fair society. We are still far to realise a society where everyone has the right to work under favourable conditions and without discrimination (as claimed in the Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights).

Shortly, today, we are called to be more aware of those disparities and to free ourselves from those prejudices that, directly or indirectly, influence our thoughts and our relationships. I am lucky to work in contexts where human relationships are the key of the success of our organisation. I do not doubt that the value of each person, regardless of the role they hold, depends on the knowledge of the subject, the experience gained and personal and relational skills. But what does relational skills mean? 
I believe that the care in interpersonal relationships is a measure of the strength of a person. Strong are those who build human relationships where the culture of listening and the respect prevails; a culture based on learning, allowing the free initiative of all individuals.
Everyone should rise the ability to question oneself, to accept criticism and working to create a trustful relationship. Always strive to identify new solutions even through cooperation, enhancing not only one's abilities but also those of others.
In this context, where the workplace is continuously transforming, it is our duty to identify our aspirations being aware that our job is taking on different forms. It will have to coincide with our ambitions so that it becomes a stimulus for our enthusiasm. Today more than ever, we are called to find our space by acting according to our wishes and in full respect of the other. We all alone can be great, capable, brilliant. Still, certainly together, through support and collaboration, we draw our most outstanding courage and greatest strength.

In the coming years, we have the fundamental task of laying the foundations for a sustainable future. The mission of everyone, women and men, is to identify their dimension both in the private sphere and in working life to create and realise a better world. Sustainability could be achieved only through "sustain" each other. Let's rise the ability to take care of one another. These are times of rapid and significant changes, which require conscious choices. Let's think of how always questioning ourselves and our opinions, without trying to prevail over the other, but rather by asking us about our mission and how to make quality choices every day.

Perhaps today, where the private and working spheres are inexorably approaching, we could start to ask ourselves how to be more "human" rather than "strong". Strong men and women are the ones who live their humanity to the fullness. We are all called to live this experience and make it our own: knowing our desires, following them, always questioning ourselves, seeking comparison, living in authenticity. To not abandon our humanity and grow in differences. Of all kinds.