BE STRONG

pietro pozzi

© photo by pietro pozzi

A couple of months ago I had one of the best kicks that life can give: a baby. “Wow, did you have a baby? And how is the mother doing? great! And how is the baby doing? Wonderful!”. And how is the father doing instead? This illuminated me on many things, one of these, is the strength needed around a new-birth.

When people ask you skeptically “and now what? Will you change nappies?” Like it was the last thing I wanted to do, I feel like I belong to another universe because to me it is part of a father’s life… “yes, since when she was 8 hours old… and it’s probably the 100th time now…”.

These are stupid stereotypes, real challenges come when you have to work 10 hours a day while you hope that bellyache, tiredness, and hunger are not showing up altogether at the same time, as you are far away in the office and the mom is home alone. Or when you go home early, leaving a pile of open topics you still have on the desk, just because that is what you truly believe in. This is being strong.

However, this is something that a man would do. A much harder activity for the man though is to support the mum during those days.  It is full of books, blogs, websites, and pages that teach a mother how to do everything and in the right way. Mom feels alone like she is wrong in a world of good practices, and the impression of being inadequate is a constant presence. Here is where the father makes the difference: he needs to make the mom understand that every baby is unique and every mom is so. It does not matter if the other breastfeed and do not get angry when the baby is crying all the night: she is human and humans have human reactions. Remain untouchable and live happy and serene maternity requires a huge amount of self-confidence and the mom cannot find it in her close friends as usual, but from somebody who is living the same story as her: the father. Be a strong father: listen to the mom, live the situation instead of escaping it, absorb the negative emotions, and tell her she is doing a great job.

This is being strong.

pietro pozzi

Mechanical Engineer

My name is Pietro Pozzi, 30 yo. I have studied mechanical engineering in Milano where I now live with my wife, two cats and now my daughter too.
My passion for cars and motorbike drove all my decisions in terms of job, starting from my master thesis to my current position: I work as a product engineer for a company that produces engine components for car OEMs.